Science! Headlines Roundup

The Register (UK) suggests suggestively:

China’s second woman ‘naut blasts off for coupling in HEAVEN

No, that’s not what’s happening. Officially, anyway. Insert Heinlein joke here. Or Roddenberry story line, either way.

That’s not a nice way to refer to Apple’s customers, however accurate and tempting.

And the following is Science! at its finest, unencumbered by evidence or self-criticism of any kind:

SEE: Visionary pair imagines how humans will look in 100,000 years

Riiiight. Before looking at the article, one might ask: What evolutionary selection forces are at play in the modern world that favor big-brained bug-eyed people? Remember, ‘survival of the fittest’ is the marketing department talkin’ – what is really going on is death to the less fit before they reproduce. So, we have to ask: who is getting killed off? Who is not? If anyone can see into the future of eeevolution – not likely – the hints would have to be who is having the babies now?

But then you look at the article, and it becomes clear the authors are speculating on how Smart People ™ will use the miracle – and I do mean miracle – of genetic engineering to make themselves more like Pokemon characters.

I heard once (warning: highly fallible memory in play!) that the human brain consumes just about as much of our body’s resources – blood, oxygen, energy – as is mechanically and biologically feasible for a creature our size. Something like half our blood supply is dedicated to keeping our brain up and running. So maybe we all need to get HUGE to support the bigger brains people with bigger brains think we want. Shaquille O’Neal: Super Genius.