Prudence dictates I not say where this pearl comes from, but I have to share a directive some poor marketing person was given to work on this year:
Core value messaging to position [product] as a strategic optimizer.
Who among us would not throw his heavily-laden wallet at a product whose core messaging positioned it as a strategic optimizer? Hard to argue with that! Hard, in fact, to do much of anything with such a plenipotent sentence fragment.
Happy New Year!