In Today’s Science “News”…

How Planets are Made

Poll finds uptick in share of U.S. public who believe in evolution without divine guidance

From the article:

The share of the U.S. public that believes humans evolved without divine guidance has more than doubled since 1982, a new Gallup Poll finds.

Oddly, they don’t give you the number. Why would they do that? You have to click on this link to find out.

It’s 19%. Fewer than 1 out of 5 Americans ‘believe’ in evolution without divine guidance. That’s not a very strong endorsement.

Add the obligatory sciency-sounding closing paragraph:

Gallup interviewed 1,028 adults by telephone between May 8 and May 11. The margin of error for the entire sample is 4 points.

From the immediately above paragraph we can conclude 2 things:

1. The authors are parroting gibberish they don’t understand;

2. They understand the value of cowing people with sciency-sounding B.S.

Have you ever taken a telephone poll and asked the person what a particular question means?  Try it sometimes. Let’s just say any confidence that such polls accurately reflect anything other than ‘how some guy answered a dumb question asked by a trained self-negating other one afternoon’ is seriously misplaced. To slap a ‘margin of error’ (whatever the hell that is supposed to mean) is just merde icing on a cow pie cake. As it were.

But hey! Let’s play along. I’ll even put the data in a graph to make it all scientifilicious:

Believe in stuff

 

These numbers were derived as a result of implementing the current state of the science protocols: people called up other people, usually during dinner, and asked them questions, noted their answers someplace, then totalled them up. Some interns who had taken a stat class once blew the dust of their old textbooks, plugged some numbers in Excel, and declared a startlingly convincing single-digit ‘margin of error’. Then they posted the results to the internet, where all true research takes place, and Google deigned to find them for me.  Isn’t Science! wonderful?

So, these number represent some polster’s take on the answers to questions the exact wording of which we are not given, from some people with telephones and meatloaf cooling on the table. We won’t even mention, because it wouldn’t be nice and nobody does it these days anyway, that these impressive-looking columns are kludged together from polls of different people in different years and different countries. Nope, it is conclusively presumed that a telephone poll number is a telephone poll number is a telephone poll number – and you’re anti-science if you believe otherwise!

All that said, we can conclude from these numbers a few startling and news-worthy bits of Science!

1. The Loch Ness Monster needs a better press agent;

2. 17% of scientists are falling down on the job, as it’s their duty to Science! to declare unguided evolution to explain everything – if they were saying that, we’d expect ALL the 36% of people who trust scientists to regurgitate that position. But they don’t! A well-funded study is in order.

3. How many people believe Bigfoot evolved through purely materialistic means? Yet another well-funded study is in order.

In fact, this is nothing if not a call for more (well funded) study! Do people believe Nessie has been reincarnated? That space aliens have evolved to believe in astrology? Inquiring minds want to know.

Science! marches on, on a belly full of funding.

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Author: Joseph Moore

Enough with the smarty-pants Dante quote. Just some opinionated blogger dude.

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