Happy New Year!

Random thoughts to kick 2014 off:

– I’d like it better if my comments on other blogs were pending immoderation.

– A clumsy ballerina walks into a barre…

– Who decided that Pachelbel’s canon was Christmas music? And on that topic, you can (pretty much) sing the Green Day song Basket Case over it.

– Along similar lines, Jabberwocky can be sung to Greensleeves. And Home on the Range/Joy to the World works as well. But the winner is Purple Cow/It Came Upon a Midnight Clear.  Next time you have an ‘It’s a Small World’ ear worm, just try that Purple Cow thing – guaranteed to make you long for Disney tunes lickity-split.

Favorite old jokes:

– Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one turns to the other and asks: “Does this taste funny to you?”

– What do cannibals serve at cocktail parties? Donner party mix.

– A spy is sent to rendezvous with a contact named O’Reilly at an Irish pub. In order to get the information, he is to give O’Reilly the password: “The moon shines bright upon the heather.”

When he gets to the pub, it is crowded – hey, its the Irish. Since no likely candidate presents himself, the spy decides to act – he goes up to the bartender and asks, “Say, has O’Reilly been by this evening?”

“O’Reilly?” responds the bartender, “Why, this town if full of O’Reillys – there’s O’Reilly the butcher, and over there’s O’Reilly the baker, O’Reilly the bricklayer – in fact, I myself am an OReilly.”

The spy decided to risk it. Glancing furtively left and right, he says to the bartender, “The moon shines bright upon the heather.”

“Oh, so it’s O’Reilly the spy you be lookin’ for!”

Merry Christmas (for 6 more days! Hurray!) and a Happy New Year!

Author: Joseph Moore

Enough with the smarty-pants Dante quote. Just some opinionated blogger dude.

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