Not a Real Science! Headline

But I wish it were:

Qatar Climate Summit Menu to Feature Polar Bear, Sea Turtle

Doha, Qatar: Organizers for the upcoming UN Climate Change Conference in this Persian Gulf city have announced that the menu for the 17,000 plus attendees will prominently feature polar bear and sea turtle, two species threatened by rising global temperatures.

“We believe we should do everything in our power to make this event as memorable as possible to our guests,” Abdullah bin Hamad al-Attiya, former Qatari energy minister and president of the Conference of Parties told a news agency on Monday. “Polar bear and sea turtle can be prepared in any number of delicious ways the conference attendees will not soon forget.”

Hamad al-Attiya answered critics who wondered if it doesn’t send a mixed message for a UN conference to eat endangered species that they are supposedly working to save: “Oh, come now. It’s only a few hundred bears and turtles, hardly a material difference to their overall populations. Besides, all these dedicated advocates have traveled from great distances at great expense to come to Qatar when they could have just used WebEx, frankly. After burning all that jet fuel, we’re going to bicker about a few bears and turtles? These people are trying to save the world! They deserve a little something special, and we will provide it.”

In related news, Qatar’s petroleum-powered water desalinization plants, which provide 99% of the fresh water in Doha, will be working around the clock at max capacity to ensure full swimming pools in this desert country, and that the conference attendees can take all the hot showers they want.

Ishmael Alighieri

Author: Joseph Moore

Enough with the smarty-pants Dante quote. Just some opinionated blogger dude.

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