Finally! Stem Cells Save Social Lives!

Hurray! Stem cell therapy might cure baldness! Of course, they’re talking about activating the stem cells already present in a man’s scalp, not adding stem cells from another source, so this has no bearing on embryonic stem cell research, a point that will be steamrolled in 3… 2… 1….

Disclosure: I’m bald. I can’t imagine lifting a finger to do anything about it. To me, the weirdness of having my hair grow back after having noticeably been absent for the past decade would far outweigh whatever the theoretical benefits. Are my friends and family going to love me better with hair? If so, maybe I should stop worrying about my mop and start worrying about the quality of my interpersonal relationships.  The only exception I can think of is if I needed to get a job – then, looking a little younger might make some tactical sense. But if I grew hair to get a job, I’d do it grudgingly.

But, clearly, this is big news – just like Viagra and its, if you’ll excuse the expression, offspring have spawned (just can’t stop!)  an entire industry of solving a problem that, in the vast majority of cases, is NOT a medical problem, so this ‘cure’ for baldness will, in the frankly unlikely case that it actually works, enrich big pharm by addressing the baldness crisis that now besets our great nation. If only our men, and, one supposes, women, had the virile, lion-like manes that it is our  sacred right to possess, well, I’m sure World Peace would break out like the measles all over the world’s pasty behind! At the very least!

And think of the pranks! No longer would frat boys be limited to writing on their passed-out brothers – they could cream ’em up, spell out words in hair on awkward parts of their anatomy. Hilarity is sure to ensue, and who doesn’t need some hilarity in this vale of tears?

Author: Joseph Moore

Enough with the smarty-pants Dante quote. Just some opinionated blogger dude.

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